Divorce in Missouri: What to Expect from Start to Finish
When it comes to divorce, Christopher Doskocil knows that every situation is different—but the process itself is often simpler than most people think. In this episode, he explains what divorcing couples in Missouri can expect from start to finish, including how custody, property division, and parenting plans are handled. With over 28 years of experience in family law, Christopher offers practical insights that help people approach divorce with realistic expectations and less conflict.
What Are the First Steps in the Missouri Divorce Process?
Christopher explains that the first conversation with a client sets the foundation for the entire case. Some people come in with urgent concerns and specific questions, while others simply want to understand the process from beginning to end. He takes time to listen first, then outlines how divorce in Missouri works. Though each case is unique, he says most can be explained clearly in about ten minutes once the main concerns are identified.
Understanding the Divorce Process in Missouri
According to Christopher, divorce may feel complex but can be simplified into two key components—dividing assets and determining child custody. He explains that a divorce essentially involves splitting a couple’s property and, when children are involved, creating a detailed parenting plan that outlines where the children will be every day of the year, including holidays and school breaks.
The process can be handled in two ways: contested or uncontested. Contested divorces involve disagreements over property, custody, or finances and can quickly become expensive. Uncontested divorces, on the other hand, are cooperative and cost significantly less. Christopher often encourages couples to communicate and resolve as much as possible before filing, noting that “you’re still going to end up with the same result, so it’s always better to make it easier and less expensive.”
The Difference Between Contested and Uncontested Divorce
Christopher emphasizes that understanding the difference between contested and uncontested divorce early can make a major impact. An uncontested divorce—where both parties agree on terms—can often be completed for under $2,000, while a contested case may start at $4,000 and increase depending on complexity. He often finds that when clients learn there’s a simpler, more affordable option, many choose to have an open conversation with their spouse before proceeding.
He points out that, while some relationships are too damaged for cooperation, many couples can still find common ground. “At the end of the day,” he says, “you’re just dividing your stuff and creating a parenting plan. It’s always better to part amicably—especially when kids are involved.”
How Missouri Courts Determine Child Custody and Parenting Time
Child custody is one of the most emotionally charged aspects of divorce. Christopher explains that Missouri courts are guided by statutory factors but, in recent years, have shifted toward a more balanced approach. In the past, mothers were often presumed to be the primary caregivers, but that perspective has evolved. Today, courts start from the idea that children should spend equal time with both parents whenever possible.
He describes how factors such as work schedules, distance between homes, and the child’s school or activities can influence parenting arrangements. For example, if one parent works early mornings or lives 40 miles away, shared custody may need adjustments to remain practical. “There’s no one-size-fits-all answer,” he says. “Every family’s situation is different, and we build a plan that works for their real life.”
Keeping Children’s Best Interests at the Center
Christopher encourages parents to remember that just because one parent may be more skilled in certain areas doesn’t mean the other is a bad parent. Children need both parents, and shared parenting time supports their emotional well-being. He advises clients to focus on reducing conflict rather than “winning” custody battles. “The goal is not to deprive the other parent—it’s to make sure your children have a balanced, healthy life,” he says.
How Property and Assets Are Divided in Missouri Divorces
When it comes to property division, Missouri follows an equitable distribution rule. Christopher outlines a systematic approach to ensure fairness. Clients complete detailed financial forms, and supporting documentation is gathered for all assets and debts. Once that’s done, he builds a “marital estate” balance sheet, listing all property and determining what is marital versus separate.
The process starts by identifying what belongs to each spouse individually, such as inherited or gifted property, and then dividing the remaining marital assets as evenly as possible. “It’s just math,” he explains. “We look at everything—what you own, what you owe, how it’s titled—and create two fair piles.”
For business owners, however, things can become more complex. Christopher notes that experience is critical in those cases because valuations and ownership structures can heavily influence how property is divided.
How to Prepare Financially and Emotionally Before Filing
Christopher stresses that preparation begins with mindset. Setting realistic expectations from the start helps reduce stress throughout the process. He makes it clear to every client that he doesn’t “sell sunshine and rainbows”—instead, he focuses on honesty, clarity, and practical solutions. As the case progresses, he works closely with clients to anticipate challenges and guide them through decisions that judges are likely to support.
He also prioritizes reducing conflict. “The goal is to reach a mutually agreeable resolution,” he says. “You’ll be connected to this person for life if you share children, so it’s always better to part ways with respect. Anger doesn’t help anyone—it just creates more problems.”
Building a Better Path Forward
Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences of a person’s life, but Christopher believes it can also be a turning point toward a healthier future. By approaching the process with honesty, cooperation, and realistic expectations, clients can protect their families, minimize stress, and move forward with confidence.